The Quotes Section

Update from Abby. :-) I'm going to try to update this quotes list at least once a week. New quotes will be written in bold so that you don't have to read all the quotes every time you're here. Unless, of course, you just want to. So, new quotes will be written in bold font and will remain in bold for one month. After that, they will be returned to their normal font with the rest of the quotes. Sound good? Sounds good to me, too. Hooray!

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"I'm only using numbers because that's what we use all our lives."
~Professor Kwaku

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."
~Mitch Hedberg

"I'm skipping! I'm skipping! I know I shouldn't do that to you, but I'm bored."
~Professor Jodi Jobuck

"I'm sorry, I'm marrying the queen of Uganda."
~Tyson Turner

"I'm used to talking to kids, and I'm smarter than they are . . . usually."
~Kathy Noonan

"Idiots aren't cured until death."
~Japanese proverb

"If anyone wants to drill in my backyard, I will be more than happy to sell my land."
~Professor James Hodak

"If both of you agree on everything, then one of you isn't necessary."
~Kathleen Noonan

"If he impresses you it's just a side effect."
~Laura Barton

"If I can get a man's legs under my table, then I got his knees real close to the floor."
~Dr. Bob Forney

"If I have to test you regularly, that's gonna suck for all of us."
~Professor Jodi Jobuck

"If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?"
~Google Thought of the Day

"If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile."
~Lynda Barry

"If that was a treat, it would be comparable to a cyanide cookie." ~Bethany White
". . . or arsenic tea . . ." ~Abby Grebe

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
~Aristotle Onassis

"If you love me, eat this bug."
~Brittany from Intro to Shakespeare

"If you people want to go, just leave!"
~Professor Cloyd Payne, right before a Calculus test

"In case of fire...kill me."
~Luke Fetterman

"In Italy for 30 years, under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love. They had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock??"
~Orson Welles

"In Russia we only had two channels. Channel One was propaganga. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you, 'Turn back at once to Channel One.'"
~Yakov Smirnoff

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
~Mignon McLaughlin

"In the end, everything is a gag."
~Charlie Chaplin

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

"In theory, this class starts at . . . now."
~Professor HOag

"Information as entertainment has made us stooopid."
~Andrew Burton

"Is it any coincidence that cupidity sounds like stupidity?"
~Abby Grebe

"Is she dead?"
"I don't know why I brought that up." ~Professor Cloyd Payne

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" ~Ryan from Shakespeare Class
"Yes, it is." ~Professor Russell Bodi

"It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh."
~Agnes Repplier

"It is impossible to love and to be wise."
~Francis Bacon
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