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"'Breakfast at Tiffany's' was a strange movie."
~Shawn Misamore

"Business slacks when I slack. But we wear skirts in [Mary Kay], not slacks."
~Juli Sneider

"BUT! And this is a very big but . . . I love to say that . . ."
~Professor Russell Bodi

"But I'm not in love with you . . ." ~Abby Grebe
"Temporarily." ~Andy Ciesler

"But think of the presents!"
~Kevin Fay

"By day, it's a pen. By night, a wonderful mechanism."
~Kelly Everett (referring to Abby Grebe's light up pen)

"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others."
~Ambrose Bierce

"Can I have a gun, then? Can I have a tazer?"
~Professor James Hodak

"Can we park out at the metered spot?" ~Tim Varner
"Well, I park there illegally every night for work." ~Metro Attendant in Washington DC
"But the signs say '15-Minute Parking, Driver Attended Only." ~Tim
"Yes it does." ~Attendant
*pause*
"Are there cars parked at those meters?" ~Attendant
"Yes." ~Tim
"Are there drivers in any of those cars?" ~Attendant
"Thank you!" ~Tim

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it."
~C.S. Lewis

"Christian contentment is recognizing that everything is ordained by God."
~Tim Varner

"Christmas is about peace on earth! So gimme another piece of that pie!"
~Randy Fall

"College students have no secret lives! That's why we write freakin' blogs."
~Keith Osmun

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
~Peter Ustinov

"Cows will go upstairs, but they won't go downstairs." ~Professor John France
"Ha ha, that was a senior prank." ~Haley Brandeberry

"Customer service is what it's all about."
~Girl in Sociology Class

"Dave Eggars has been picking my brain again. He's modeled himself after the same way 'The Edge' picks at his guitar."
~Keith Osmun

"Dave Frye is like having a lap dog."
~Mike Portteus

"Deep down in my spirit I could hear, 'Bret! Don't do it!' But what I was really hearing was, 'Bret! *radio static* do it!'"
~Bret Smith

"Devaluing marriage devaluates life in general."
~Dr. Bob Forney

"Did you guys know there was such a thing as a cootie shot?" ~Makilah Witt
"Did you used to live under a rock?" ~Keith M

"Did you know that Toledo once belonged to Michigan?" ~Professor James Hodak
"Can we give it back?" ~Haley Brandeberry

"Did you not just look through my glasses? Did you not see China when you did?"
~Joe Metter

"Dingbat: An experienced hobo."
~Amy Shrewsbery

"Dinner? Movie?" ~Dave Frye
*Aimee Reid glares at Dave Frye*
"Shutting up." ~Dave

"Direct sunlight makes me irritable."
~Josh Smith

"Do I look like I'm poor enough to eat Ramen?"
"It's not about being poor! . . . It doesn't hurt . . ." <--- Does anyone know who said this? The computer appears to have deleted that information . . .

"Do you have ADHD?" ~Professor Alvenia McQueen
"Not that I know of but I guess I do." ~Kevin Wukoviak

"Do you have the faith to allow God to be your defense?"
~Jerod

"Do you think I could balance this chair on my nose?"
~Professor Cloyd Payne

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