The Quotes Section
Update from Abby. :-) I'm going to try to update this quotes list at least once a week. New quotes will be written in bold so that you don't have to read all the quotes every time you're here. Unless, of course, you just want to. So, new quotes will be written in bold font and will remain in bold for one month. After that, they will be returned to their normal font with the rest of the quotes. Sound good? Sounds good to me, too. Hooray!
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"I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say, 'Mitch,' and I say, 'What?' and turn my head slightly."
~Mitch Hedberg
"I don't read that. It's like instructions on tests."
~Benj Derkin
"I don't think I could ever accept my parents as friends on Facebook."
~Julie Alley
"I don't understand jack what you've written."
~Professor Kwaku
"I don't want to get stuck behind 'Napa' here."
~Sandra Lehsten
"I drooled all over myself again."
~Nic Baker
"I feel like a goober."
~Tim Varner
"I feel sorry for the person who thinks up insults just to use them days later."
~Jeff Waggoner
"I get it! It's 'spinach' spelled backwards!"
~Scott Andrews
"I got more game than a playstation."
~Aimee Reid
"I got my Bachelor's in artsy-farsty."
~Bethany White
"I gotta remember you're an old man in the sea."
~Professor Cloyd Payne
"I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
~Eddie Izzard
"I hate not being looked at."
~Andy Ciesler
"I have magical hair."
~Aimee Reid
"I have no idea what I'm going to do today."
~Professor Cloyd Payne
"I have to pee." ~Abby Grebe
"The feeling is mutual." ~Brett Thomas
"I just pasted baste."
~Andrew Colchagoff
"I know how to write with my toes. I practice in case my arms ever get amputated."
~Gill from Calculus I
"I know the capabilities of that camera and of the person behind it."
~Sandra Lehsten
"I like being rejected by people far away."
~Kevin Fay
"I like it because it's violent."
~Sandra Lehsten
"I like mounds of duck cheese. Cover me in tartar sauce and call me Susan. Give me pounds of tacos and slap me in the face. Goodnight moon."
~ Candis Minniear
"I live for Jesus. Second is weekends."
~Chris Weigel
"I look like a cake swamp thing."
~Laura Crawford
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
~Rita Rudner
"I love pooping my bed!"
~Nate Price
"I love you!" ~Titania from
A Midsummer Night's Dream"I . . . I don't think you should . . ." ~Bottom from
A Midsummer Night's Dream(paraphrased)
"I may be stupid, but I'm not a retard."
~Dave Frye
"I mean, come on, everyone likes animals."
~Fritz Wenzel