Went to Tristan's to work on the site. Ate his parent's food. Was all-in-all an intrusive guest, like the kind on tv that comes in without asking and eat al the food and they always point at the door and say "Out!" and the audience laughs. Hey. What the heck. I'll be the kind that gets laughted at every stupid little thing I do, and I'd even draw an applause just by swinging the door open and shouting, "Hey Everybody!!! I'm home!!" Then Tristan's parent's can try to get a laugh by growling, "This isn't your home, Luke." Yeah... that would be the life... until the show gets cancelled and my entire life is trapped in reruns. What was I talking about?

Andry was an hour late. After we gave him 40 lashes minus 1, we told him he could be in the clan for a small fee of 46 a month. He punched me in the face and we called it a day. Because it really was a day...what else would it be. Geez...tourists. Then we indoctrinated him with bad work ethic by going outside to wander the streets.

FIRST! We walked to the fire hydrant shrine. Light shone from behind and it called to Andry for worship and incense, (and the 40 cents he was carrying), but Tristan and I knew the wiles of the hydrant. We prodded him with the sticks we happend to be carrying until we reached school. We were gonna bid 40 cents on everything, only...it was already over. Ha ha...woah...That was really stupid. We came across a bunch of faggots on the way home. They were just laying on the side of the road. So, naturally, we took them to Jolie's yard so they could lay around there. That makes plenty of sense. I'm sure that if you saw a bunch of faggots on the side of the road you'd take them to Jolie's too.

I almost got hit by a truck on the way over there. It was all Tristan's fault!! "You can make it! You can make it!" he says. Actually the car started to break near a subdivision while I was waiting to cross Talmadge. I say, "Why don't you use your blinker next time!" I dart out in front of it (carrying a bunch of huge sticks at the time). He almost hits me. Andry starts foaming at the mouth. It was great.

We got back to Tristan's and sat around. Talked in his room. Talked in his basement. Talked in his room again. Went home. Jolie unblocked me just for the purpose of yelling at me. She wasn't too happy about the creepy "Look out your front window" messages we left on her instant messanger from "other screen names." She told me that her mom says I'd "better come over right now and clean it up." Whoops. I'd forgotten that Jolie isn't a crazy old lady living by herself. To set thigns straight I'll say this. "I'm sorry, Jolie's mom."

I say to Jolie, "Eh? What are you talking about?"

She says, "You'd better find out." ::blockage:: At the point I could hear the audience of my life going, "Ooooooooooooooooo" I said some quip remark to make them laugh and ponder on what Jolie said. I think it was a threat. Now to more pressing business. What else can I do to use more quotations in this paragraph?

Mr. Farly covered his face and yelled. "LIES! LIES!! PHYSICAL SCIENCE WAS ALL LIES!!! FORGET WHAT I TAUGHT YOU!!!! FORGET WHAT I TAUGHT YOU!!!!!!!!"

...staring...more staring...even more staring...more staring with the occasional blinking..."AHH!" Nate cried. "My eyes! They're burning out of my head!"

"Whatever shall we do, Luke?!" Megan pleaded.

"Well...I think it would be best if Nate closed his eyes for a bit. They burn because he hasn't blinked in ten minutes."

Everybody laughed. Then started wimpering again.

"No, Luke!!!" Megan had gone into wild hyseria, "WHAT ABOUT OUR CHEMISTRY CLASS!!! WHAT ABOUT THE ADVANCEMENT OF KNOWLEDGE!!!!"

I pondered. "Weeeeeeeell..." This wasn't normal pondering. This was superior pondering, or as I like to call it..."I'm better than you, Megan" pondering. I think my alternate name needs a little work. "I could think of a concialitory resolution to our present quandrary, however the solution of which I have concluded thus far is muchy too complex for your pitiful human brain's processing speed." Yes. I slaughtered the word concialatory and nobody even noticed! That's how you get through school, kids. Pretend you know more and everyone else and they'll beleive you.

Nate started to break down into tears after my beautiful usage of the word "concilatory." He didn't really har much else I said. Then, something magical happened... The whole class because to sing. It was a marvelous site...until I realized that they were singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" and Nate was sharpening his pencil. Then an even more amazing thing happened... My heart that had been three sizes too small, grew and grew, three sizes too tall. It broke that little thing that was around my heart and I ran to their aid as fast as a dart.

"Poor sheep...I will give them what they need." Bubble Yum. Grape flavored. That's what they needed. And so we chewed gum for the rest of class and on into the rest of our lives.

Nate noticed in Chemistry today what element 67 said. He showed it to me and we laughed heartily. Then I (being the one with advanced grammer skills) pointed out element 68. We both let out a wimsical high-spirited guffaw.

Next...was Algebra II! Mr. Neitz waved a homework paper around for a while. I didn't bother looking up. I was too busy humming a little jig to myself, "Hum dum dum. I'm so much better then everybody else. La dee dum dum. I'm so much better than the Welsh. Da Dope Da. I'm even better then the Celts..." and so on and so forth. I'm sorry I made you listen to that. It was really dumb wasn't it? DON'T EVER CALL ANYTHING I SAY DUMB!! GOT THAT?! Good. I forgive you. You're only a poor misguided soul. Pretty soon the paper was right in front of my face and everyone was saying it was mine. "You will all be mine..." I muttered under my breath, "SOON YOU WILL ALL BE SUBJECT TO MY EMPIRE OF THE NIGHT!!!!"

Yeah. It was mine, but I pretended that it was hard to tell. It was kind of an excuse for not noticing in the five minutes that he was asking everyone. "Ummmmmmmmmmm....Ummmmmmmm....Ummmmmmmmmm...I think...Ummmmmmmm...That's mine?" I'm afraid of Mr. Neitz. I'm afraid he'll beat me up or something. Or more realistically...I might make him mad and get humilated by numerous words with bad connotations.

Then he says that the next person to say a word was going to get kicked out of class...permeately. Whatever he meant by that... His eyes flashed red and a cold wind blew through the room. For a moment I thought I saw the silloutte of "Old Peter" on the wall, but then I realized...it was Mr. Nietz's shadow. "DOES THAT INCLUDE YOU?!?!" I shouted (in reference to the kicking out of class [I had almost forgotten it {I forget things a lot you know }]) whew. The students cheered and confetti dropped from the ceiling. They lifted me up on their shoulders, parading me around the classroom. "What's all this?!" I laughed, with a sitcom smile. "This is all for you!" They hailed, "MAKE WAY FOR THE KING!" No...I'm not delusional. What would give you that idea?

My burn is mutating. If I were to project my arm up through some soft soil and cover it a a red, bloodlike material...I bet it would look just like Carrie's arm. Yup. Bet it would.

I am now blocked by over half of the sophmore class. I'm proud to be an American.

Me: How is your weekend? Julia: Fine Me: Is it well fed? Have you been taking good care of it? Has it had all its shots? Julia: No, it's imaciated Me: Oh... Does that mean spayed or neutered? (SIlence) Julia: you're sick. bye. ::Blockage::

I don't really see anything wrong in what I said. I'm not going to deny the existence of spaying and neutering methods...no matter how much the government tries to shut me up! Yeah. That's right. I'm proud to be an american.

Got blocked by Jolie too. I don't know why really...maybe it was because I told her I was gonna beat her house with a stick. Nah. That's a really stupid reason to block someone... "Am I a jerk?" I thought. Then I proceeded to slam my head into the sharp part of the fire place until I forgot what I was thinking about...ahh...What was I talking about? I had a dream once that my Grandma got in a fight with my Grandpa, then they both grabbed their dinner guest and beat his head into the fireplace too. Maybe I was the dinner guest...or maybe...we'll never know.

Ok. Went to Tristan's to work on this stupid thing. We're hoping to have it up in a week or so. Tristan says, "Let's work!" I ran out of the house screaming. I ran and I ran and I ran. Then I found myself in front of Jolie's house (who lives a couple streets over). "It's Jolie's house." I said. "Yeah." A dark figure stood in the shadows. He flicked away his half smoked cigarette and emerged into the street light. It was Tristan! Then it occured to me that I had made the whole thing up.

So there we were standing out in front of her house. Ok. I was bored. "Let's beat her house with a stick." I said. "Let's not." Tristan says. "I don't like creepy stalker being associated with my name." And so it began.